Baby Amnesia

Motherhood has consumed me in a wonderful, all-encompassing way. I'm loving my little "Arfy, muffin, pumpkin, lovey, boo boo, poopy loopy, sugar wugar... you get the picture" man more than I can express in a blog post... I'm not gifted enough.

In such a short time we have come so very far...

In the first two weeks while healing from a c-section and longing for just 3 consecutive hours of sleep, Flip and I looked at each other and shared the same sentiment: "WHAT DID WE JUST DO???" I was prepared for this; we both were. I knew it would get better, and believing that pulled me through the sleep depravation and nursing trials. Our emotions were raw. The experiences were surreal. My hormonal sensitivities... through the roof. I would cry when I saw a homeless man on the street and would pray for him incessantly. I would cry at the imagination of Arthur's heart hurting whether it be a girl or some bully at school.

But, now that I'm several months into this... "baby amnesia" has attacked... and I look back and think, "Oh that wasn't so bad." Now, don't get me wrong; I totally appreciate this baby amnesia because I seriously want to do this again and again, but at the same time I want to remember the reality of those "baby fog" days (a term borrowed from my sister-in-law) so these memories don't fizzle away.

1. Healing from the c-section was manageable, but took a few weeks before bouncing up the stairs.

2. I needed a nice long cry after realizing my labor experience was far from ideal. It took a few days to accept the fact that I needed to mourn the experience.

3. Note for all: Your epidural did not work if one leg is dead-numb while the other one feels like going for a run.

4. Post delivery: Getting ready involved nipple creams, nipple pads, pads of all sorts and lotions for scars and stretch marks encroaching on time that simply does not exist.

5. That precious new baby can make you the most vulnerable person in the world.

6. Nursing was and still is a B---- (even though I assumed I had it down)

7. The smallest of problems with your child will consume your every thought while thunder-clouding you.

8. Bedtime was especially difficult when you knew you weren't really going to bed.

9. I played Darius Rucker's, "It won't be like this for long" a hundred times a day.

10. Hours were well spent just staring in awe at the beauty of what God designed inside of me.

11. Family support was incredible. I wanted to share the experience with everyone.

12. I saw my husband cry for the first time.

13. The Pediatrician prayed before Arthur's circumcision.

14. I tested and strengthened my endurance by mastering the most unnatural natural process: nursing... after countless hours of crying, slow regaining of birth weight, 5 cases of mastitis, and an extremely slow, inefficient nurser, I can endure anything.

15. Using the hospital nursery and wonderful nurses to take your beloved child when you're totally exhausted from 30+ hours of labor and a c-section is nothing to be ashamed of.

16. Oh... my first glance reaction, "tears and... WOA... it's a mini version of my father-in-law!"

Wouldn't trade it for anything.