Reading and Writing to Sleep

It's really not that late for a Friday, but after being awakened by a crying baby and a husband leaving for work entirely too early at 4:45 AM... I'm exhausted. During the day I look forward to crawling in my bed and drifting off to a blissful night of rest as if it is something that will actually happen. However, in reality I am a night owl by nature and practice no matter how I schedule myself to fight it, and I have difficulty settling my mind into rest. I've always envied people like my husband who can fall asleep in 15 seconds and wake up refreshed after a 15 minute nap. It takes me 30 minutes to settle into a nap. In fact, the more I try to focus on sleep the more topics surface and permeate my thoughts. I love to analyze, theorize and day dream, but this looming energizes me at night when I desperately want and need sleep. Morning arrives at the same time every day.

I love to read and always have a stack of books on my night stand that I am currently TRULY reading before I go to bed. Maybe reading a good book is a trigger for my brain and in actuality I should start my day with one instead of the latter. I'm currently reading the book Eat, Love Pray by Elizabeth Gilbert. I'm in the beginning or a quarter of the way through and can understand why the book is so popular. She is desperately seeking. However, it's so depressing when I read books about people that become incredibly influential by doing world-recognizing and monumental things such as building schools in Pakistan and Afghanistan or writing an International Bestseller and they do not know Christ as a Savior. In Elizabeth's search for God (so far... I did read a little ahead and a little about her as an author) she completely discredits Christ. Without Christ there is no knowing God, they cannot be separated. I cannot imagine trying to find answers within myself because I know I would be completely and utterly disappointed at the many directions my truth would lead into chaos. Thankfully, I place my faith in a book that reveals God's character and plan so that I can know his Holiness through the sacrifice of Jesus. This book so far is leaving me depressed at thought of someone searching and still not seeing Truth. At least it drives me into deep thought about my faith and the faiths that exist in this world... which then leads to prayer--as it should. Although the deprivation unnerves me, prayer should be my first stop.

On a lighter note... I enjoy her style of writing because she is being honest about who she is and is sharing an adventure too exciting to ignore. I want to transcend through this book and know her. Her raw honesty (to everyone! or anyone that wants to read) in times of despair displays a self-disclosure that would mandate a close friendship upon exposure to its details. Right now she is in Rome... eating. I could be in Rome... eating.

Now when I really need to fall asleep... like it's midnight and I know my bambino will be bright-eyed and wailing for food in 6 more hours, I pick up Jane Austen's Persuasion. It takes serious concentration to figure out what is even going on. I end up exhausted after 4 or 5 pages.

7 months and growing...

Arthur is 7 months today. This is such a sweet age to experience as a mom. I have so many ideals on how to raise him during this phase: I want to teach him a certain level self control (pulling my hair is getting old), creativity by filling his life with personal play time, and lessons through small, everyday tasks. We have introduced signing, and I'm hoping it will pay off in a few more months. For me baby signing is more of a peer pressure (thanks to the Charleston mommies) than something I personally feel strongly about.

The second peer pressure from Charleston mommies is home made baby food! It's a bit time consuming, but at least I know I'm feeding Arthur something I would actually eat too. He loves pears and sweet potatoes. I love that he actually has food preferences at 7 months old. SO cute! Over Christmas I ended up with a 6th case of mastitis from nursing and decided it was time to wean. I know I'm crazy for stopping after the 6th time... I mean after the 3rd, 4th and 5th time I kept thinking, "Oh, I'm sure this is the last time I will ever get it!" Anyway, it has been a bitter sweet transition. Arthur doesn't seem to miss it. We are both better off this way...

Stats for the baby book, as the pediatrician says-- and I don't correct her by saying, "Oh my son doesn't have a baby book"-- for 6 months are: Height, a little over 28 inches and weight, 17'9 lbs. He was 90th percentile in height and 50th in weight.

Dear Arthur,

Arthur, you have brought us so much joy and love in these past four months. I look at you everyday and literally squeal at your preciousness. I give you hundreds of kisses and sing you silly songs all day long. Not a day has gone by when I have not prayed for you. Before you fall asleep, I lay my hands on you and pray that God will keep you safe, help you grow big and strong, and for you to love the Lord with your whole heart. We are so blessed that God gave you to us!

You are a curious and focussed baby. You love to sit in your sling close to me and observe the world around you. You study people and objects for an unusual amount of time. You love your jumperoo and anything you can stick in your mouth! You love your Daddy, and you give him the biggest grins when he comes home from work. Bath time is probably your favorite time of the day and you have learned to enjoy it to the fullest while soaking the kitchen. You talk to yourself in the car. You chat away with mommy and daddy for long periods of time. You are a terrible napper... you think 15 to 30 minutes is enough time to be asleep during the day. You make up for it by sleeping 11 to 12 hours at night! When you are tired you rub your face. When you are fussy you calm yourself by sucking your little fingers. At 4 months you weigh 14 lbs and you are 26 inches long. You need lots of love and attention because we have spoiled you with it from day one! You love your crib aquarium, aka Baby TV. You love the actual TV too, but Daddy doesn't like for you to watch it. You love to be around lots of people and find yourself content in anyone's arms.

When you rolled over (right at four months) I screamed with delight so loudly that you jumped. When you received your first shots I cried with you. When you jumped in your jumperoo for the first time I called everyone that loves you to share the exciting news. It's amazing to watch you grow and learn. You can reach for your toys and play with them now. You can grin and giggle.

Now I understand why moms believe their children are the greatest things since sliced bread! I am so in love with you. So, I hope you always know that you are one LOVED baby, and this is just the beginning!

Love,

Mommy

Baby Amnesia

Motherhood has consumed me in a wonderful, all-encompassing way. I'm loving my little "Arfy, muffin, pumpkin, lovey, boo boo, poopy loopy, sugar wugar... you get the picture" man more than I can express in a blog post... I'm not gifted enough.

In such a short time we have come so very far...

In the first two weeks while healing from a c-section and longing for just 3 consecutive hours of sleep, Flip and I looked at each other and shared the same sentiment: "WHAT DID WE JUST DO???" I was prepared for this; we both were. I knew it would get better, and believing that pulled me through the sleep depravation and nursing trials. Our emotions were raw. The experiences were surreal. My hormonal sensitivities... through the roof. I would cry when I saw a homeless man on the street and would pray for him incessantly. I would cry at the imagination of Arthur's heart hurting whether it be a girl or some bully at school.

But, now that I'm several months into this... "baby amnesia" has attacked... and I look back and think, "Oh that wasn't so bad." Now, don't get me wrong; I totally appreciate this baby amnesia because I seriously want to do this again and again, but at the same time I want to remember the reality of those "baby fog" days (a term borrowed from my sister-in-law) so these memories don't fizzle away.

1. Healing from the c-section was manageable, but took a few weeks before bouncing up the stairs.

2. I needed a nice long cry after realizing my labor experience was far from ideal. It took a few days to accept the fact that I needed to mourn the experience.

3. Note for all: Your epidural did not work if one leg is dead-numb while the other one feels like going for a run.

4. Post delivery: Getting ready involved nipple creams, nipple pads, pads of all sorts and lotions for scars and stretch marks encroaching on time that simply does not exist.

5. That precious new baby can make you the most vulnerable person in the world.

6. Nursing was and still is a B---- (even though I assumed I had it down)

7. The smallest of problems with your child will consume your every thought while thunder-clouding you.

8. Bedtime was especially difficult when you knew you weren't really going to bed.

9. I played Darius Rucker's, "It won't be like this for long" a hundred times a day.

10. Hours were well spent just staring in awe at the beauty of what God designed inside of me.

11. Family support was incredible. I wanted to share the experience with everyone.

12. I saw my husband cry for the first time.

13. The Pediatrician prayed before Arthur's circumcision.

14. I tested and strengthened my endurance by mastering the most unnatural natural process: nursing... after countless hours of crying, slow regaining of birth weight, 5 cases of mastitis, and an extremely slow, inefficient nurser, I can endure anything.

15. Using the hospital nursery and wonderful nurses to take your beloved child when you're totally exhausted from 30+ hours of labor and a c-section is nothing to be ashamed of.

16. Oh... my first glance reaction, "tears and... WOA... it's a mini version of my father-in-law!"

Wouldn't trade it for anything.

Twitter?

Recently I've had many topics come to mind for this blog, but shy away from posting because they seem too opinionated or narcissistic. However, I enjoy writing about myself and what I think so maybe it's a guilty pleasure... an outlet not offered through my addictive friend, Facebook. 

The one "new" thing I'm not quite sure about is twitter! I have to agree with Bill O'Reilly about twitter... it may very well lead to the dumbing of our nation (if abused-- which it is!). In fact, facebook's twitter/status update can be one's vain attempt to spark interest in daily activities such as lunch or taking a nap. A part of me wants to click the comment tab and write, "I don't caaaare!" Dumb and Dumber style while another part is slightly interested in the fact that you had a taco for lunch... which then leads me down the path of wasted time. Considering I update my status occasionally and have a blog, I'll digress from strong opinions for fear of being hypocritical :)

Topics I would twitter about today: 

1. My weight gain (too much? too little?)

2. Parenting advice

3. The View- wishing I could be Elizabeth's "helper" while maintaining a sense of humor

4. Historical fiction novels I love to read

5. Pregnancy

6. the 12 minute turtle mile I now run at 7 months

7. Every move and kick my baby makes

8. The constant planning and preparing for our move to Charleston/graduation/having a baby!

9. Parenting philosophies

10. Baby feeding/sleeping books

11. Why I'm a republican!

12. Why staying grounded in the Bible is so important when it comes to forming opinions about life. 

13. Food

14. Family

15. Annoyances

16. Love

17. Work

18. Money

19. Prayer

20. Needs/Wants 

I have thought about all of these topics today (plus dozens more) and find it unbelievable that our minds are constantly working through and thinking about something... whether it be an opinion, analysis, or to do list. It would be interesting to review every thought we have in a given day to determine what kind of people we really are, and appreciate how complex our minds are. 

Maybe people that twitter constantly have a better grasp :) 

It's a Boy!

Pregnancy Glow?

My complexion has certainly seen better days! Every morning I wake up to find a new "accent" on my face. Currently, I resemble the Joker with dry scabs highlighting the corners of my lips. Isn't this contrary to popular belief? Aren't pregnant women supposed to glow?

Some women may resign to mother nature during pregnancy, but I refuse! If diamonds are a girl's best friend, then makeup must be a girl's loyal sister because I can't dream of a better companion. One quote that I always love to recite came from Dolly Pardon in Steel Magnolias, "There is no such thing as natural beauty!" Of course, Dolly needed to keep her salon busy :) But, Makeup -whether used to accent or cover- is necessary, and I will "glow" regardless of what nature decides... My latest MAC purchase: full coverage foundation. The switch from concealer and powder to foundation, concealer and powder has added about 3 well-worth-it minutes to my makeup regime. The "glow" can then be fully accomplished with bronzer and a subtle blush :)

Can you tell I'm Southern? Too many Northern women would quickly dismiss my insistence on makeup. Hopefully the natural glow will come in time, but my makeup bag will remain instrumental!

Arthur one more time...

What do you think about my little new baby Arthur Gordon ?
MakeMeBabies.com - What will your baby look like?

Little Arthur

What do you think about my little new baby Arthur Gordon ?
MakeMeBabies.com - What will your baby look like?

Charlotte with different pictures of "Mom" and "Dad"

What do you think about my little new baby Charlotte Victoria?
MakeMeBabies.com - What will your baby look like?

Little Charlotte

What do you think about my little new baby Charlotte Victoria ?
MakeMeBabies.com - What will your baby look like?

Gummy Vites?

Everyone knows pregnant women are supposed to take prenatal vitamins. But, I really can't take them. They make me sick! And the iron clogs me right up. So... I substitute with children's Gummy Vites, B Vitamins with folic acid, and an Omega 3. Is this good enough? 

NFL and the Bachelor

It's Saturday night and I'm sitting next to my husband watching the Carolina Panthers (our hometown team) battle the Arizona Cardinals. It's a pretty pleasant evening as the snow is falling outside and hibernation is my natural inclination from December to March! However, spending a Saturday night watching football... with the constant stopping and whistle blowing... no thanks! Thankfully, the Bachelor is on and we are recording both programs... watch a little football, then switch it over for some comic relief with the Bachelor! 

I love the Bachelor because I find nothing more enjoyable on television than watching women who are beautiful, dumb, and overly confident. Women that have lost total touch with reality (though completely annoying in person... I know a few) can be ironically endearing and entertaining on television. I mean, who doesn't love the squealing, giggling, pageant smiling, and corny one-liners. One contestant was interviewed in her pageant attire... she had on her tiara, sash, and gown... I loved her for that. Another girl described and showed us her vision boards. These boards consisted of magazine word cut-outs describing her perfect man... and NO she is not 17. I can't wait to meet the rest...

Unfortunately, my interest in the Bachelor wanes once the most entertaining girls are left flowerless. Until then... I'm going to respect and enjoy this show's comedic value! 

Confidence Symptom

Well... Christmas is over, and we are several days into 2009. Thankfully, I was able to enjoy Christmas because the nausea subsided and we have zillions of family members allowing us to celebrate a dozen times. We had a great time in the Carolinas, but it was too crazy and busy to write about, so.... I want to share my latest pregnancy symptom:

I've never been really insecure. I mean, I have the "normal, healthy" insecurities; however, I've never been overly confident either. For instance, I care if someone doesn't like me, or I'll think "I hope no one is looking at my butt in these pants." BUT these days... I'm the slightly chubby (pooching) audacious pregnant woman. I could care less if you like me or not. I would feel comfortable showing up in a ball gown to a super-bowl party, and if you say something even slightly offensive to me I'll call you out on it. I'm enjoying this new confidence as long as I don't become a total sassy frass. I mean, a little sassy frass is OK (I'm using sassy frass figuratively... not literally). I haven't heard of this symptom yet... but I know it's pregnancy related... everything these days is pregnancy related :)  Also, I'm still a little crazy at moments and get especially crazy if I'm hungry.... wait, there is no such thing as being pregnant and hungry... I mean STARVING. 

Last Doctor's appointment we were unable to hear the heartbeat through the doppler so we had another US, and this one was much less intrusive. The baby was dancing, kicking, punching, spinning and oh so very cute! Wish we could have captured him/her a little better... 12-13 weeks in the picture. 

How much weight???

This post is mostly for humor... because I just spent a few moments laughing with girlfriends as they discussed their weight gain during pregnancy. One of my friends shared that she gained 80+ pounds during her pregnancy (they stopped weighing her at 80 pounds) and I almost lost the chocolate I was eating (regretfully) because I started laughing so hard. No offense to anyone who has gained that much... but if we are honest with ourselves... unless we are having sextuplets... 80 pounds is unjustifiable :) Luckily this girlfriend was able to lose that weight and can now laugh at her unfortunate situation! And if anyone thinks I was rude for laughing at her... just know she would quickly reciprocate the sentiment if I had gained the 80 pounds! 

So for me...

I'm currently at a 2 pound gain, but seriously weight gain in the first trimester is not necessary so I've decided to start tracking my calories and writing down the weird foods I've been eating. I'll share Monday's menu because it makes me laugh...

breakfast: hunk of french bread and a piece of cheese

lunch: McDouble and small fry

snack: laffy taffy

dinner: Subway sandwich (major craving)

late snack: 20+ really hot banana peppers (BIG MISTAKE) and a pickle

I never eat this poorly but each of those items was a major craving. I had to have it! The peppers were devastating to my digestive system... so I really need to learn how to control myself. The nausea is getting a little better... THANKFULLY! Now I'm just tired tired tired... yawning as I type :) Goodnight!

Baby Peach

Today was my first doctor's appointment. I really like our doctor and the office staff... very relaxed and comfortable. Dr. R was also a Navy man back in the day and was able to do his residency during the end of the Vietnam War. So we are in the hands of a seasoned veteran in both military and medicine! 

So everything went really well... however, baby peach is not as far along as we had anticipated. This actually explains why I had a negative pregnancy test until 7 days after my missed cycle. So our little peanut is only 8 weeks and 1 day today (originally thought we were 9 1/2 weeks along), with little arms and legs and a heart rate of 165 beats per minute. 

It's pretty cool to have a look inside of your own uterus to see a tiny person growing! 

Silent Princess Peaches

I have not been able to write on here for several weeks because I've been harboring a secret. Considering it's my very own secret... it's the only thing I want to write about. Considering the secret is controlling my entire life... my mind could not reach beyond this secret to write about anything else. Now that my family and close friends know, I have the freedom to share my secret! THANKFULLY... because I really need an outlet to share my joys and complaints :)

So here goes... I'm growing a tiny baby in my belly and have been doing it for the past 9 weeks. I had a negative pregnancy test for so long that I've only known about it for 4 weeks. BUT NOW... I know how pregnant I am because of the moodiness, nausea, throwing up, larger (even larger) breasts, nausea, throwing up, cravings, aversions (I will buy a huge box of oranges because it's all I can eat and then decide the next day I can't stand them), fatigue, and nausea. For the record, I want throw up right now... and even while I'm asleep... I will get out of bed at 2 AM to throw up :( YUCK! These past couple of weeks have been really difficult and I'm thankful but looking forward to the next trimester.

Was it planned? Yes! Flip and I decided to place things in the Lord's hands for Fall of 2008 about a year ago. However, we were surprised considering so many sources and friends told us it could take 6 months to a year. For us it was less than a month... and we are excited, ready, nervous, and so thankful for this opportunity. We both want a large family and have done our part to get the show on the road :)

OK, now that's off my chest... I can write again! I promise to dwell on the misery of this first trimester... sorry! Only 3-4 more weeks.

Should You be Allowed to Vote?

So... I took this test (without googling any of the answers) and looks like I am pretty validated in helping to chose our next President of the United States (ahhhhh can't believe we find out tonight)! Take the test... it's fun... and thanks Giovanna... hope you don't mind me stealing your post idea.

You Should Be Allowed to Vote

You got 11/15 questions correct. Generally speaking, you're very well informed. If you vote this election, you'll know exactly who (and what) you'll be voting for. You're likely to have strong opinions, and you have the facts to back them up.

Should You Be Allowed to Vote?

Country Bumpkins in the North

So these days... that I haven't posted on my blog... have flown by. My grandparents visited this past weekend, and we had a wonderful time with them. They arrived on Friday, and we kept them busy until Sunday evening. They are from a small town in North Carolina so Boston was quite an adventure for them. My grandfather has a Southern dialect from South Carolina that can be difficult for the average Yankee to understand. There were a few times I noticed a waitress or sales clerk straining to understand him, and as a last resort requesting him to "say again." All he ordered was a salad with dressing on the side (they are strict vegetarians) for every meal :) 

We went to the Clemson/Boston College game on Saturday (they are HUGE Clemson fans) and Clemson won which made the trip that much better! We took the train home and ended up running into/standing next to Charlie Whitehurst from the San Diego Chargers. My grandparents found that ride to be quite special considering Charlie was the quarterback for Clemson a few years back. Sunday we spent the day in Maine and were able to show them the Bush Estate in Kennebunkport. 

They had a wonderful visit! It means a lot to us when our family visits us from the South... it's a looong trip up here, especially if you're determined to drive! 

Have You Met the Duggars?

The Duggars are a Christian family (reality series on TLC) with 17 children and one on the way. This show is intriguing to me for several reasons: The children are always happy, the family is kind and courteous, the family runs like clock-work, and they do everything to the glory of God. This family may seem odd to some as they appear "outdated," but they are merely conservative Christians. Without saying we should all live exactly like The Duggers... I would like to point out... The Duggars display attitudes and values that should resonate with all viewers rather they be Christian or not. Below is a list of the Duggar Family Guidelines. These rules are truly admirable and worthy of emulation. 

1. Always use soft words, even when you don’t feel well.
2. Always display kind actions and joyful attitudes, even if you have been mistreated. Have the right response by quickly forgiving others in your heart even before they ask.
3. Always be enthusiastic and look for opportunities to praise others' character.
4. Always deflect praise and be grateful to God and others for the ways they have benefited your life.
5. Always use manners and be respectful of others and their belongings.
6. Always do what is right, even when others may not, or when no one is looking.
7. Thank God for how He made you, for what He has given you and everything He allows you to go through. (Romans 8:28)
8. Don’t mock or put others down. Develop compassion and pray for others.
9. Never argue, complain, or blame. Quickly admit when you have done wrong and ask for forgiveness (even if you were only 10% at fault). Don't wait till you’re caught. Be sure your sins will find you out. He who covers his sin will not prosper, but he that confesses and forsakes it shall find mercy.
10. Have a tough accountability/prayer partner to daily share your heart with and to keep you in line (your parents, spouse). The power of sin is in secrecy.
11. Be attentive and look for ways to serve others with sincere motives and no thought of self-gain.
12. Think pure thoughts (Philippians 4:8, Romans 13:14).
13. Always give a good report of others. Don't gossip! Never tale-bear unless physical harm will come to someone. (Use Matthew 18.)
14. Never raise a hand to hit.
15. Never raise a foot to kick.
16. Never raise an object to throw.
17. Never raise a voice to yell.
18. Never raise an eye to scowl.
19. Use one toy/activity at a time. Share!
20. Do your best to keep your surroundings neat, clean and organized.
21. Never let the sun go down on your wrath. (Don’t go to bed angry or guilty)
22. Amendment J.O.Y. - 
           Put Jesus first, Others second, Yourself last.